Compare all the way - My first article in Deccan Chronicle

Published in Hyd local paper - Deccan Chronicle in Teen Chronicle on Date: June 24, 1998.

Compare all the way. I would like to know if comparisons can ever motivate anyone to produce better results. Every parent loves to compare their children's performance with that of others. Well, the grass is inevitably greener on the other side of the fence. While sincerely seeking to make their children work harder, they not only compare academic abilities and other skills but also the way they conduct themselves, eat, sleep or brush their teeth. The worst part of the whole thing is that the parents do not make any consideration for the fact that one human being is naturally different from the other and their child is an unique individual in himself. Suppose the girl next door scores more than you, the same old story begins: why didn't you get a better score? I may want to get a better score but certainly not to boost someone else's ambition or to show another person down. If I make an attempt to score better marks, it would be for the sole purpose of furthering my career. Getting better marks, to me, has nothing to do with putting over my best pal. The perverse pleasure of excelling at someone else's expense does not allure me. I do not need the thought of humbling my friend to motivate me to score better marks. The only thing I would feel if the maid's daughter did better than me in her exams is a significant amount of pride and a lot of happiness she had so well without all the luxuries that make life easier for me. But the way my mother puts it, it would make one think that I was the greatest ingrate on the face of this planet and the biggest moron to boot. Why can we not be genuinely happy that the maid's daughter has done well? Why bring in the comaparison that dulls the edge of pride and joy? why not appreciate her in her own capacity and me in mine? Every teen goes through the process of being measured against someone else and inevitablycoming up short. Every household is sure to have witnessed at least one battle between an irate teen and an equally irate parent. Not only in matters pertaining to studies but even the very way you live is compared and criticised. All this will only serve to create a lot of bad blood between you and the person you are being compared to. It may give you a psychological complex that will haunt you the rest of your life. So parents, give us a break and let us do the best we can, be it in studying or just in being us.